Lets Talk About Dopamine
Though the language may differ — dopamine cycle, pleasure cycle, reward loop — they all point to the same fundamental truth: we live in a culture of seeking, distraction, and impulse. For many of us, this environment feels normal. We were raised in it — conditioned to always reach for the next thing, the next hit, the next distraction.
We scroll, we spend, we overextend—seeking to quiet the restless ache within. And when we inevitably fall short of the impossible expectations we’ve set, we turn inward with blame. I know that pattern well.
But why do we keep doing this?
In Atomic Habits, James Clear introduces the “habit loop” — a powerful process of cue, craving, response, and reward that shapes our behavior. Meanwhile, Dr. Anna Lembke, in Dopamine Nation, explains how dopamine drives this loop. Every hit of pleasure creates a craving for more. Not because we’re greedy or weak, but because our brains are wired to avoid the emotional dip that follows the high.
As much as I love learning, I don’t always absorb the science right away — even though understanding the why behind our behavior is essential to creating lasting change. Don’t worry, the how is coming. But for now, stay with me.
What Is Dopamine?
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter — a chemical messenger that helps neurons communicate. It plays a key role in the brain’s reward system, driving motivation, pleasure, and reinforcement learning. It’s less about the joy of receiving and more about the anticipation of reward — and that’s an important distinction.
A Little Story to Help You Visualise.
Imagine your brain as a bustling little town: cafés buzzing, people rushing, notifications pinging. In the middle of it all is your favorite cozy café, where your barista — Dopamine — works the counter.
Dopamine doesn’t wait for something good to happen. Instead, the moment you anticipate pleasure, D starts cranking up the music and shouting, “Something good is coming! Pay attention!”
Here’s the twist: dopamine isn’t about the pleasure itself. It’s about the promise of it. It’s what nudges you to check your phone, crave the cookie, open the shopping tab, or scroll “just one more time.” Dopamine is less about liking and more about wanting. And wanting more.
A Day in the Loop.
Let’s walk through it.
You're on your phone. You scroll Instagram. You see something funny, something pretty.
Dopamine lights up. Your brain goes, “That felt good! More, please.”
You keep scrolling. More laughs. More golden-hour lighting. Cute dog.
Then... meh. A boring post. Dopamine dips.
Your brain panics: “Find something else!”
So you scroll again. And again. And again.
This is the cycle. The loop. The trap.
The Dopamine Loop in Real Life:
You anticipate pleasure → dopamine rises.
You take action → scroll, eat, check, buy.
You get a reward → brief satisfaction.
You crash → dopamine drops.
You want more → to avoid the dip.
Repeat. Sound familiar?
Why This Matters.
When we understand this loop, we can stop blaming ourselves for being “lazy” or “unfocused.” You are not broken. Your brain is just doing what it’s designed to do. But like a puppy, your dopamine system needs training.
With awareness, we can start to choose habits that create steady, meaningful dopamine: movement, creativity, completing small tasks, quality time. These may not give the same instant buzz — but they bring lasting satisfaction and fewer crashes.
Understanding your personal dopamine rhythms can help you design a day that supports calm, focus, and wellbeing. So now that we’ve explored the why, let’s talk about how to shift the cycle.
Step 1: Understanding
Understanding always comes first. Knowing what’s happening in your brain — that the craving or restlessness is just a short-term chemical dip — can change everything. It’s not a flaw. It’s normal. You’re not broken, and there’s nothing to fix.
Once I understood why I felt impulsive after eating, or why I craved something else after being on my phone, I started to see my internal world more clearly.
Step 2: Awareness
Once we understand the mechanism, the next step is catching it in real time. Ask yourself:
When do I notice that restless seeking energy?
What triggers a drop?
Scrolling, sugar, constant screen time?
Start noticing. No judgment. Just awareness. For me, it became a bit of a game — spotting the impulse and gently naming it. Some days I still act on it, some days I don’t. But over time, I began to create a pause — a moment of presence — between the urge and my response.
Step 3: Note the Loop
Now build on that awareness by tracking your personal loop.
What’s your main pleasure cycle?
Most of us have a couple of go-to patterns. A common one is: boredom → phone → scroll → empty → repeat.
Instead of trying to change it all overnight, just observe it. You can even draw it out or jot it down. Track it for a few days or weeks. I bet even now, as you read this, a few of your own loops are coming to mind.
Step 3 – Interrupt the Loop (with curiosity, not control)
Once you’re aware of your patterns, the next step is to gently interrupt them — not by forcing change or denying yourself, but by getting curious. When you notice the urge arise, pause for a moment and ask:
What am I really needing right now?
Is this pleasure, or just a distraction?
Can I ride this out, or choose something else — even for 60 seconds?
This isn’t about being perfect or never reaching for your phone or the snack — it’s about creating just enough space between the urge and the action to give yourself a choice. You might still scroll or snack, but you’ll do it with more awareness. And sometimes, you might surprise yourself and choose something else: a breath, a stretch, a quick walk, a sip of water, or even just observing the feeling without reacting.
This moment of pause is where new neural pathways begin to form. Not through discipline alone, but through presence and choice.
From here, we’ll move into small, steady shifts — not to eliminate dopamine, but to regulate and relate to it differently.
We’re not trying to shut down your impulses, but to understand and respond to them with more wisdom and flexibility. One step at a time.
Step 4 – Build in Steady Dopamine (That Actually Feeds You)
Now that you're beginning to see and gently interrupt the old loops, it’s time to introduce new ones — ones that actually nourish rather than drain you.
The key here isn’t to cut off pleasure but to replace short-term spikes with sustainable sources. These are habits and experiences that still stimulate dopamine, but in a way that supports your long-term well-being. Think of it like switching from junk food to slow-release nourishment.
Start by experimenting with activities that give you a slow, steady sense of satisfaction:
Completing a small task and ticking it off
Moving your body (walks, dancing, stretching — whatever feels good)
Creating something (writing, drawing, cooking, rearranging a room)
Connecting with someone in a meaningful way
Getting outside and experiencing nature, even briefly
Practicing mindfulness, stillness, or breathwork
You don’t need to overhaul your whole life. Start by adding one or two small, steady dopamine practices into your day — ideally before you hit a crash or impulse. This builds a buffer and makes the loop less intense when it does arise.
Over time, you’ll start to notice that your cravings lose a bit of their grip — not because you’re forcing them away, but because you’re giving your brain something better to work with.
Step 5 – Integrate with Compassion and Consistency
Now that you’ve started building new, nourishing habits, the final step is integration — making these shifts part of your everyday rhythm, without falling into the trap of perfectionism or self-judgment.
This is where a lot of us trip up. We expect change to be linear, fast, and flawless. But in reality, it’s messy, non-linear, and filled with setbacks. That’s normal. The goal isn’t to never fall into the loop again — it’s to recognize it sooner, recover more gently, and return to your grounded habits more quickly.
Some ways to support integration:
Track patterns gently — not to control, but to notice. Journaling or even a quick end-of-day check-in can help.
Celebrate tiny wins — they rewire your brain too. Did you pause before reacting? Did you choose a nourishing alternative once this week? That counts.
Have compassion for the crash — dips will happen. Urges will return. Instead of spiraling into shame, remind yourself: This is part of the process.
Stay curious — let every moment of craving or impulse teach you something, rather than defeat you.
This work is not about being rigid. It’s about developing a more regulated, kind, and curious relationship with your own brain and body — one that doesn’t rely on constant stimulation to feel okay.
And the best part? The more you practice, the less effort it takes. You begin to embody a quieter, more grounded sense of satisfaction that lasts far longer than any quick hit ever could.
Let me know how you get on. I’ll keep you updated on my own journey.
Love
WCL x
References
Dopamine Nation — Dr. Anna Lembke
Atomic Habits — James Clear
